不經不覺

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[不指定 2009/04/05 19:30 | by beck ]
封筆停寫blog已經一年,請容我向所有有追閱本blog的朋友致歉。

其實由我開始不想寫blog起,到今天應有差不多年半,多少大小事曾經發生,多少感受,實在不能盡錄。但為什麼打從某天起就突然提不起勁動筆?又想起了幾年前還是中學時的事。

那時網上日記興起不久,在同學慫恿下也開始了寫網誌和日記的習慣。不寫尤自可,寫了才發現,一些在「日記」裡的是非很快在同學間流傳,繼而受歧視白眼,讓我差點有轉校念頭。那時才醒覺到「網上日記」不是日記,遠不及那寫在本子裡的文字那麼真摯率直。第一次有被看穿底牌的感覺,唔識死,於是xanga繼續寫,後來連blog都開了,就是本著打不死大無畏精神,一於直腸直肚,率性而行。

事實證明我不合時宜了。

看過太多,自己也經歷不少一石翻起千尺浪的事,就對網上言行更謹慎。不……謹慎也不足夠,我甚至開始理解為啥「少說少錯,不做不錯」才是大道理,因為你我根本不知何時何地會因一句無心之言而被一堆路人甲乙丙指指點點。

網上固無安全感可言,但當我在身邊的摯親也沒法找到安全感時,什麼感想感言,都只是一個個已過去的包袱,而且我也無從得知,哪天可能會被清算,一堆往事被翻舊帳,絕非什麼好玩事。就像《中大學生報》疑似情色版事件,二月號的文章到五月才被翻出來鞭屍。網上言論沒時限,相對危險性就更高了。

過去幾年我話太多了。常常被人批評「有我講冇人講」,也許我該讓自己冷靜一下,好好思考將來前途,遠比醉心於網上爭吵來得有用。關心我的朋友請放心,我還是我,只是這年來有點累而已。
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2014/08/30 14:00
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