注意，以下的為dormcat的文章，與本人沒有關係，文章內容與沒有關係，只是dormcat在看本人個案而出來的感想。

On personal (romantic) relationships of otaku

撰文︰dormcat

過去幾天來, Momoko的朋友們與一班閒雜人等湧入他的blog. 為維護當事人隱私, 我只能說事情始於他的女友拋棄了他.在下, 一個與Momoko相同的御宅加鐵道迷, 在六年前人在海外時被當時的女友以幾乎完全相同的方式所拋棄 -- 兩人在分離六個月後, 被她以種種奇怪的理由要求分手.

我們這些重度ACG迷(常被稱作御宅)常常是家長們和女權運動者們的攻擊對象. 因為御宅的組成多是年輕未婚男性, 且多喜歡有著大量年輕女孩的H同人誌, 十八禁動畫, 以及美少女遊戲等等, 在在成為被攻擊的標的. 最近宮崎勤被日本最高法院判處死刑定讞更再一次提醒民眾御宅的"危險性". 但就我個人經驗而言, 平均上御宅比非宅更尊重女性! 這聽起來有點匪夷所思, 且讓我慢慢解釋.

大部分單身的御宅男性(包含Scott Adams所著"The Dilbert Principle"(台譯: 呆伯特法則)裡所提到的"工程師")都比較害羞內向, 也使他們在日常生活中比較沒有機會接觸女性. 這種刻板印象在由小說改編的日劇"電車男"裡進一步被強化. 也就是因為這種羞澀, 一位御宅男性會更加珍惜願意稱呼他為"朋友"的女性, 且願意做任何事情來維繫一段戀情. 當然囉, 我們在看到好看的動漫/玩到好玩的遊戲/聊到有趣的話題時有時會有點興奮過度, 但我還沒聽說過有宅男會在自己知情的情況下去傷害對方(譬喻說出軌). 有人可能會笑說: "那是因為宅男沒有能力出軌, 哈哈", 但我不作此想. 宅男的血液裡有著自數十萬年前老祖宗流傳下來的"獵人/狙擊手"的因子 -- 一種會鎖定並歸向自己選定的目標的特質(沒錯, 我也是軍武宅), 而不是女性"去蕪存菁"式的"採集者(糧草徵收員!)"模式. 不幸的是, 有些女性發現了宅男的這種"蠢才", 並加以利用與剝削.

在"現視研"漫畫版第六集裡, 當電車上出現一個空位時, 斑目要讓位給春日步, 卻被笑說很宅. 我在猜想, 難道說在女權不彰的東亞文化裡, 女性會傾向於把宅男的禮貌行為誤以為是對她有意思? 我自己幫女性開門, 上桌時一定等女性都就座後才自行就座; 這些自騎士精神流傳下來的傳統已經成為我生活的一部分. 奇怪的是, 許多當代女性對這種"過時"的禮節並不領情. 許多人寧可在五星級旅館被硬上之後第二天再用一對鑽石耳環(戒指的意義不同 -- 不過在日本似乎沒這麼正式)賠罪, 也不願意在麥當勞或吉野家吃完飯後啥事也不幹. 俗話說得好, "男人不壞, 女人不愛".

我不知道是巧合還是怎樣, 但Momoko的女友告訴他"和他在一起感覺很累", 與我前女友所說的如出一轍. 她們可以用念珠結拜姐妹, 搞不好還可以拍電影呢.

英文版

During last couple of days, Momoko's friends and strangers have poured into his blog. How could I be so sure, especially that I don’t even know the (former) couple in person? That's because I had been through an identical path when my ex-girlfriend dumped me six years ago, when I, an ACG fan and a railway otaku (see below) just like Momoko, was abroad and away from ex-girlfriend. After six months apart and another man was after her, she left me with weird reasons.

We hardcore ACG (anime, comics, and games) fans, often referred as "otaku," are often targets of parents and feminism activists. Consisted mostly late teen / young adult single males, many (if not most) of them enjoy ero-doujinshi, hentai anime, bishoujo games, etc., featuring mostly underage or underage-looking cute girls, making them an easy target for criticism. Recent death sentence of Tsutomu Miyazaki by Japan's Supreme Court has just reminded the population how "horrible" an otaku can be. However, with my personal experience, I can say confidently: otaku respect female more than average men do! This may sound shocking and astonishing, but allow me to explain my reasoning.

Most single otaku males (including those engineers depicted in The Dilbert's Principle by Scott Adams) are more introvert and shy than average men, making them having less opportunity to meet females in real life. This kind of stereotypical image has been heavily emphasized in recent novel-turned-TV drama Densha Otoko. It is because of this shyness, an otaku would treasure any female willing to call him "friend" and might do just about anything to keep a romantic relationship. Sure, many of us might get a little carried away while talking / watching / playing our favorite subjects, but I have yet known there's any otaku has done a thing knowingly and intentionally to hurt the heart of his significant other e.g. having an affair with the third person. Some would say, "That's because he is not able to attract more girls, haha," but I tend to think otherwise. Most otaku have more "hunter / sniper" trait in their blood (probably inherited from males hundreds of thousands years ago); that is, a tendency to lock on and then home in (okay, I'm also a military otaku) a single, favorite target, rather than "exchange the lesser-good ones with better ones" like a "forager," a trait belongs to most females. Unfortunately, some girls have discovered this "foolishness" of otaku males and have started to exploit them.

In Genshiken manga vol. 6, when a seat is available on a train, Madarame told Kasukabe to take the seat, only to be laughed at his "otaku-ishness" by her. Is it possible that, in most East Asian cultures where female rights are not so highly regarded, a female would rather regard the kindness of an otaku as a method to approach her and establish a more intimate relationship instead of pure politeness? I myself open doors for ladies and take seat only after all females at the table have seated; those manners have been passed down from chivalry spirits and have become parts of my life. Strange it may sound, but most modern young females do not appreciate these forms of "obsolete" mannerism. Many of whom would choose to be date-raped in a 5-stars hotel today and be apologized with a pair of diamond earrings (I wouldn’t use a ring as an example, for a ring often has a different symbolism in most cultures, albeit less formal in Japan) tomorrow, instead of having dinner at McDonald's or Yoshinoya and nothing happens afterwards. "Chicks dig bad boys," they say.

I don't know if it's just a coincidence or what, but Momoko's girlfriend (known as "Yukari") told him that she feels "tired" for being together with him, just like what my ex-girlfriend said. Maybe they can call themselves "soeur."

Maybe they can make a movie.

【相關資料】

dormcat's cubicle --- On personal (romantic) relationships of otaku

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